Living my Life

Cheesy title, cheesier intro line: So the term is “home is where the heart is.” That’s what they say. Well, I’m glad to say that my heart is very much in Tsushima right now.

I went to Iki these past few days, and realized a bit of something, an important lesson if you will. Life, for the most part, can really be what you make of it. Sure, if you’re starving, if you don’t have shelter, if you have an incurable disease that causes immense pain or something along those lines, life may be pretty shitty. But for many people, life can really be all about attitude.

I noticed that the Iki islander JETs were very much like the Tsushima JETs. There’s just something about islands I think that serve as great catalysts for people not to worry as much and to be a lot more relaxed about most things.

Then I got to thinking about my place in space at this moment in time, and how Tsushima has charmed the hell out of me and has really soaked up my heart juices and emotions. I’m not exactly euphoric and delusional about living here, but I am very content and happy. Sure, there will be shitty days of course, and there will be great days. But it’s all about living in the moment.

And I don’t mean living in the moment the way it was preached in the 80’s with the whole "if it feels good do it" kind of mentality. Because not all moments feel good, but all moments can teach us something, even if it is simply the reiteration that change is the only constant.

It was over a curry dinner conversation that we decided our lives were pretty fantastic at the moment, that we were definitely at a high point in our lives and pretty much just going with the flow of things and letting things happen as they will.

They tell you to plan, they tell you to structure, they tell you to be the best at “something,” but what we all forget from time to time and what they forget to tell you sometimes, is to be yourself and live. That means feel the pain with all the joy, feel the gluttony and the guilt. Feel all of that, life is chock full of emotions, and many times we have the choice to act on them or not.

That’s the key difference. Emotions are temporary, but they very much control a large part of our lives. None of us is a stranger to regretting some things we said in the past out of anger, out of drunkedness, out of horniness, even out of euphoria. It happens, that is life. I think the more encouraging lesson is not to necessarily be stoic, but to ride the ride and learn how to float on the waves that are your life. That means don’t forget to laugh, don’t be afraid to cry, don’t be ashamed to tell someone how you feel, essentially, let your emotions rise, let them teach you who you are as a person, who you are as a sentient existent being.

Which brings me back to Tsushima. I’m happy here, sure there may be a time that I feel a little (or a lot) frustrated, where it’s just so tough. But like everything in life, challenges help make you more adaptable, more flexible to coming up with solutions when problems arise, and more able to allow yourself to feel.

I’m feeling right now, riding the waves of my life. Enjoying my “applied research” in multilingual/multicultural studies and recognizing that family is what you make of it, that there are so many cool and caring people all around you, and that culture and language itself at times can be very arbitrary, it is speaking to the essence of existence that really matters.

Just a few thoughts that ran through my head this late at night. Has a lot to do with the fact that I went to a BBQ at my supervisor’s house (again). She has four kids, and they remind me of my siblings (only younger). So chaotic and crazy and fun. And the family being so welcoming and caring, not a second family overseas, a family that I have right here and now. And then that feeling of safety and comfort (the one I was very much a stranger to as a child, but have come to appreciate as an adult) come rushing in, but not fast, just enough for me to keep riding the waves gently and on my own beat. Just the way I like to live my life. To the beat of my own drum, while listening to the hearts of others.