Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to adaptability, my life has been defined by once in a lifetime experiences, different cultures and language and people, and constantly moving. But today I had a great day, because my JTE (Japanese Teacher of English) seems to have stepped out of her box, and became more adaptable.
It’s at the school I go to the most often, and it’s crazy there. Today went from a teacher running into the lockerroom to burst out crying the second I walk into the staff room (not related to me…), to a student not being found in class, to some of my students painting their faces with markers during lesson time. To say the least, this school is challenging and is definitely putting my “go with the flow and roll with it” skills to the test. But it’s a test I seem to be passing with flying colors. There is no end to surprises here. Students sleep in class, my JTE bursts and yells at my third years, one of them grazes me and tells me my nipples are soft (didn’t see that coming), and the general environment is one of chaos and disorder. Yet, this school has the reputation on the island for being the strictest. I can go on about how the creation of strict standards on “children” (actually all people) just pushes them to rebel even more. This school seems to be at its breaking point (perhaps because everyone knows the principal is retiring soon, he’s a huge part of the problem perhaps?)
But I’m learning adaptability. I’m learning it because it helps engage my students. I haven’t given up on them or myself as a teacher yet (and don’t intend to). This school’s culture has not stolen my smile (partly because I don’t go there everyday).
I roll with the punches, the sarcasm, the fact that they make fun of me to my face, and I take it all in stride. You’re talking to someone who grew up in a family of assholes that loved me very much. Pushed me hard and made me justify myself to teach me the lesson that if you can laugh in the worst of times, life is a great big joke, and you live with it.
So my JTE I think got a taste of my abilities today. Rather than rely on her handouts and lectures, she let me do a quick game. the students ate it up, and then she added on to it at the last minute. Then, I saw that fire in her eyes, that confidence that she’s lacking because it gets sucked out of her by administration, and that hope that maybe these students can learn, and maybe they’ll be okay. And that was inspiring to see. Don’t get me wrong, me and my JTE still need a long way to go in order for me to feel like we’re really doing our jobs top notch and that these students are getting the opportunities they deserve like at my other schools. But, it was nice to see her less defeated, to maybe understand why the hell I’m so happy all the time even when the students try to break me (remember being in middle school and how much it sucked?)
And that’s what this job is teaching me. It’s trying to find a bit of consistency in a sea of change, to inspire these students (and teachers. at least at this school) that life is not so serious, that we live once, that education and learning are beautiful, enriching, non-systematic, and FUN things. I saw that spark today, in my students, and in my teacher. Now, it’s time to use that, to build on it, to show others it, and to let my contagious smile and positive energy flow throughout. I’m here for them, I’m here for me, and I’m learning so much more about life and teaching, and as usual, I’m grateful for these intense challenges I face. Sometimes, they make life all the more worth living, and indeed, they make learning and progress all the more beautiful. Let’s do this!
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