Loz azules

There's these mountains close to the ranch in Chihuahua somewhere where my grandma grew up called "loz azules."

They remind me of the mountains I look at everyday just outside my window.

Wisdom is a learned quality. But wisdom is also something that is felt. It can't always be put into words, but it can always be known.

My grandma has had so much impact in my life. I think of not only our conversations, but of the ones she has had with others. Passing down the oral traditions from generation to generation.

I do fear a bit that much of that knowledge will be lost, to an extent at least. That no matter how much she talks and how much I listen, all of that wisdom cannot be retained in its entirety.

But that's okay. Because the most important thing my grandma has taught me is to listen. To listen to those mountains, to listen to the earth, and to let your heart and spirit guide you. Rarely are they ever wrong.

So although I do miss my family, especially my grandma and my mother, I know they're always there for me, always with me. We have this unbreakable spirit that we share between each other. One of those unspoken miracles we know exists, but rarely materializes into words.

As I sit by the sea, as I climb the mountains and sit at peaks listening to the wind, I simply exist. Words could never fully express how we feel at these very opportune times, but we try anyway, in the hopes that they will inspire others to listen as well.

When you are sick, you're body talks to you. Your body talks to you all the time. It tells you how to nourish it well, it tells you what are your likes and dislikes, but more importantly, it houses who you are.

So as I think about my mom and grandma, I miss them. But as I think of them, I also remember the lessons of love that they have taught me. I remember how they've taught me to listen to others, and give what I can, always, even if that giving comes from things I may myself need. And I'm paid back in kind, with smiles, and deeper relationships, and trust.

This whole getting older thing is kind of cool. I learn so much everyday. Life is never a bore, even if I myself may feel I'm bored, I think of all the intricacies and complexities that exist, the ones I haven't explored yet. And I find a sort of satisfaction that I can never know it all, but that I must always keep learning and asking and trying and hoping.

And my grandma taught my mom how to live, and the lesson was passed down and shared. "Alli esta la vida, vivela." said my grandma to my mother. And so we do. We are not scared of losing each other, we are more scared of never having lived our lives and being able to tell each other about our adventures, a true survival technique that makes my family so good with the only constant being change. But it's quite fantastic when we get to spend those lived moments together. Because even though our bond is strong the world across, when we're closer, it creates a sort of awesomeness all our own. And the love that exists there can never be fully expressed in words. And I feel that everyday of my life.