Belonging II

I like how my previous post was a positive post. This one will be a sort of addendum to that one, as I am quite happy. I figured I should write now, so that when times get hard again, I can remember my focus, my visions, my passions, and that life is a series of waves, the good and bad both pass.

So I have a new job. A new good job. Emotionally and mentally satisfying, challenging in all the ways I want to be challenged, and with the opportunity to excel for me. I've always been that smart kid in class, the "how the fuck did you do that so fast and so efficiently" kind of guy. Now I'm beginning to realize that all that hard ass work I put into building myself has finally bore some fruit. That's very exciting.

It's like working with Y.E.S., but with a ton more professional life experience under my wing, and a whole different person since that time. All those crazy roller coasters I've gone through, those ups and many many downs, my bat shit crazy childhood, and all the moving year after year, even month after month sometimes. It's finally given me the thick skin I needed to have, but also the ability to be compassionate no matter how trying the situation may be. That is empowering. I feel empowered, and I have an infectious energy. If I feel that, I get to spread it around, and I am a master at spreading around energies, both negative and positive and everything in between and beyond.

I harness that energy and rather than get a big head from it, I pass it on. To my students, to employees, my supervisors, my friends, and strangers. I'd say family too, but that's a really unnecessarily complicated situation. It's good to be back in that space within myself again, good to feel like myself. To know I'm going to thrive and be accomplished, and that this is what I want, this is what I choose, and this is who I want to be. I'm in the business of inspiring, and I get better and better at my art day by day. I'm glad this job found me, and that I finally found something like this. It's a good place to be, so when times get tough, and they will again at some point in my life since that's how it goes, I can remember how I felt now. How I felt true to myself, my own nature, and what makes me flourish and thrive, and how I can empower others to find their voice as well. I'm getting better at remembering that I live my life for me, and the best part of it all is when I get to share it.