I is growing up

One thing I have always loved about living in other places is the challenging aspect of it all. I've never been a fan of short travel, and I rarely want to go anywhere just to check it off of my non-existent bucketlist. I also don't really find that I get a lot out of short one-time trips, except getting tired perhaps. I much rather prefer to live somewhere for an extended amount of time, or travel there repeatedly.

Living like this can be tough, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes it wears me out, so much so that I've even considered stopping all together and I don't know, moving back to Texas or something. This feeling never lasts too long though, and is usually caused by other factors such as boredom, sickness, or the cold. As I get "older" I realize that much of my life has been spent moving around. It is in my blood, a huge part of who I am not because I have to be, but because I continue to choose to be. There is always something inside of me that tells me to move, while at the same time telling me to stay and learn as much as I can about myself and others. My definition of settling down is based more on my internal comfort within than it is with any physical location on earth, or anywhere else for that matter.

Living in so many places has begun to teach me something profound about life in general, and myself in particular.

I am far from the same person I was 10 years ago. I am much less timid, a hell of a lot more confident, ten times more daring, and 100 times more caring. Apparently, astronauts going to space say that looking at the earth makes them think differently. Though I've never been to space, I think I can relate to this sort of feeling. This idea that we live on a pretty small and somewhat fragile planet, being a very fragile species ourselves. We really do make a difference with every action and every word we use, as well as every thought we think. Public policies and individual actions are not disconnected, and our collective thoughts create our societies and differences, which in turn impact every organism on our planet. I also think that we are more than capable of being able to respect individual differences while all working towards common goals. I really believe that humans are capable of awesome things, and despite all the crap some people pull, I still think we can always learn from every experience. I am way less naive in my approach though, and I understand that everyone can change for the better, but they must be able to do it in their own time, and a definition of better should be defined by them, not by social mores or pressure. We are at our best when we don't have to worry about expressing who we are, and we can let all our creativity flow without fear.

Through the years, I've learned that people the world over are not very different. We all want many of the same things. Food, sex (some people anyway), comfort, and resources are all basic needs that societies and cultures have all found interesting ways to acquire. We are such complex creatures with such basic needs. I find it fascinating how acquiring those needs will differ from place to place and a myriad of factors will all play a role in how people think. Ask a Mexican how their identity would differ if they had no corn or beans, ask a Japanese person how they would fare if fish did not exist, and you begin to understand how basic resources can play pivotal roles in adapting cultures and societies, which leads to morals, values, and convictions that we collectively create. I'm very convinced, yet still curious, that our responses to environmental factors, both internal and external, play a very dynamic role in who we are, who we become, and the kind of societies we build. This for me is a bit of a "well, duh" but if you really think about it for a bit, it's quite impressive. It has taught me that our existence is way more connected and complex than we can explain through words or science or religion. The simple act of being is an incredible expression of existence.

I think that's what I've learned through my many vivid experiences. Being alive is changing me. Allowing myself to feel my environment and respond in kind based on what I have learned and know about myself is a powerful life lesson, and I am far from done learning. So rather than have a bucketlist of things I must do before I die, I prefer to keep a hobby list, of things I enjoy right now that will develop in their own time if I really discover I love them. It is very rare now that I feel pressured to be anything but who I am. And with that knowledge, I've given myself freedom to be the best kind of person I can be: myself.