Disease

UTIs are so much fun....

I finally got over mine, urine is now not all sorts of cloudy or painful.

Disease can teach you a ton about yourself if you allow it to. I decided to forgo any antibiotics that come in white pill prescribed form and allow my body to test itself and to grow stronger. Disclaimer: I don't recommend this to most folks, I'm a person on my own, and I have a very high threshold for pain, something that took years to condition. Pain can teach you your limits, and when you pass those limits, you learn even more and you learn how to pull through, and the pain becomes a sensation. Again, my journey with my body is much different than most folks, so I AM NOT condoning that you forgo any medical advice and continue on with a UTI, this is just my journey with this particular strain that is apparently benign unless you're a pregnant woman (Strep B to be exact).

Because it was benign, I decided I would let the pain take me on a journey, and I would let my body heal and clean and flush just like it needed to. In the process, my body taught me more about who I am, and in a weird way, I'm really grateful that I let myself go through this experience without any powerful kill entire microbiomes kind of drugs.

So what did I learn? The body is a beautifully intelligent creature. It is not controlled by mind, and it is a force of nature, indeed it is a part of nature. This ability to somewhat detach from my body and let it tell me what it needs is one of my many skill sets, and I'm a great listener. What it told me was that it was hurting, but also that it was fighting. Peeing was a huge struggle, but I needed to drink lots of water, and needed to continue flushing.

Most importantly, my body informed me that for years, ever since my first UTI, I hadn't given it the chance it needed to listen. My first and second UTI I had to take pills to flush, and this strain was a different bacteria altogether.

However, disease tends to be a symptom of bigger things, bigger lifestyle red flags. I noticed how I was eating plenty of vegetables and produce, but my diet was not in season, and my diet was not in sync with my body. I became very introverted and allowed my body to feel, all the pain, everything. The healing was SLOW. It was a weeks long pain, likely a year's long journey, as I never remember being completely free of urges in my urinary tract since before I was 21. Years of stress and go go go, and moving country to country, place to place can take a huge toll on what you begin to consider your natural stress levels.

My body was telling me to slow down, in a very big way. This UTI was not something I think came out of nowhere, I think I had created the perfect conditions for this particular strand to inhabit at the most opportune moment. That's why I decided to forgo the pills despite the pain. If I wasn't going to learn how to listen to my body now, then when?

I tried lots of fluids, changed my diet, made it more seasonal, and went back to the herbal books to try anything that would work. Again, let me say that the way I do medicine is not mish mash if this plant can't heal in a day or two it's not working guess I'll just give in to modern medicine kind of way. No, I'm more of a you tell me what you need body and I will help facilitate. So again, I'm not telling you how to medicate yourself using plants, as likely most of you will do it wrong, and won't have the tolerance for pain and long drawn chronic sensations I have. Just another disclaimer.

This meant that the UTI fucked with my head, fucked with my mind and tested me hard. The healing process was 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, repeat. So even though it got better slowly, it would still go back. I kept track of how I felt a few days ago, and really thought about it I was getting better or not (I was).

My body has never excreted so much nasty shit. From my penis nonetheless. It was gross, but I knew it was healing. There's nowhere else for nasty shit to go that's in your urethra than out into the toilet when you pee, and oh goodness the pain can be intense. But I kept on, knowing I was getting better.

I learned how to thrive better because of this pain, this fighting body. I changed my diet and varied it up to match with the season, and that made a huge difference. I also took shots of apple cider vinegar because apparently that helps, and it sure as hell did. The pee got more clear and the pain began to dissipate.

I went off the sugar cold turkey. By sugar I mean refined sugar and snacks containing. When I wanted something sweet, I went for an apple or banana. No citrus, because not really a cold weather fruit (except for tangerines, but not so prevalent here). The cheese, the dairy, the meat, all out of the diet. It wasn't so much that I was trying hard not to eat it or denying myself sweet sustenance, it was that I knew what my body needed, and I knew that the 3 steps forward, 2 steps back healing approach was going to require great vigilance. So I watches, and I listened like I've never listened to my body before. My mind became more quiet, and my body became more intuitive.

After a while, despite the still aching dick I had that was slowly getting better, I noticed my health was picking up. I started working out daily, at first to distract myself from the pain and encourage my body to flush shit out. But then I started working out in order to get stronger. Before working out seemed like a chore, like something I told myself I had to do to remain "healthy" but didn't necessarily enjoy. Now I see it as a part of my life, a post breakfast post big ass dump routine, almost as casual as eating a meal. I'm getting stronger because my mind is quiet, and so when I work out, I can feel the sensations in my body, and it feels good to build.

I started eating way better too. No more snacks containing refined sugars, and I've come to love eating apples as a snack with some unsalted mixed nuts I buy in bulk. Now I see cookies and cake and crap, and I think, nah, why would I want to do that to my body. It's been through so much, and it loves me for the vast amounts of produce I treat it to, so I don't need that cookie, hell I don't want that cookie. And then I start to notice sugary foods less and less, they look less appetizing, and my eyes don't get bigger when I see them (show me a persimmon and my mouth starts to water).

I've also gotten better at eating more. I basically just pile on the in season produce and cook all of that together with few spices and maybe a dash of salt, and of course turmeric and pepper which I love, and that's my meal. Simple. Some beans in all of that for some bulk and flavor, and I am a happy camper after I consume the meal. It's amazing how eating in season tastes so so good. I had to remind myself to eat like that since I've lived outside of Japan. Now I eat and eat like a grazing elephant all day long, but I never feel gross and stuffed, and my poop is so nice in the morning.

My perspective has also changed on my eating habits. Before, eating was about trying to maintain health. So in my mind I could only have one cookie a day, or meat every so often, or cheese only with veggies, or something like that. Well then I decided to just forgo the meat, cheese, and sugar since I never really liked those much anyway, and I just consume more and more produce. It has been an amazing journey to get me to where I am today. Again, I'm not giving dietary advice, most folks will not know how to get all their nutrients from plants and will fall into the but I need to eat sugra dairy or meat trap. I'm just describing how I feel, not necessarily making any moral judgements on what is likely your shitty diet (ha ha).

Also, I feel more connected to the plants, more connected to the earth. Much less stressed, much happier and cognizant. I feel myself more productive, more rested when I get sleep, and generally more willing and able to live my life. Live my life the way I see fit, not fall into that modern I have to be successful as defined my money and accolades kind of life. My accolades are my overcoming of this UTI, my new diet perspective, my significantly lower stress levels, and my general sense of ease and connection to nature and existence as I understand it. I'm hella productive and inspiring, but unlike before, I no longer feel burnt out or pressured like I have to be great. It's not just that I've done so much with my life thus far, it's that I'm always open to learning, and I never stop dreaming big. So thanks UTI for teaching me that, and thanks for making my body fight and get stronger in the process. Disease can teach you lots, and I would do this UTI over again given the choice, knowing what I know now. Granted, I never want another UTI ever, but this one taught me so much. My bladder now empties completely, I have no irritation or weird I still need to pee sensations, and my urinary tract is doing a great job of cleaning itself all out. I've gotten better at listening to this fleshy temple of mine, and I'm delighted about how much it has taught me.